


Adventures In Babysitting

by TheAuthor44



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAuthor44/pseuds/TheAuthor44
Summary: Max helps babysit baby Peter when Zoey is stuck at work. Ladies, tell your ovaries I said you're welcome.
Relationships: Zoey Clarke & Max Richman, Zoey Clarke/Max Richman
Comments: 14
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

“Ow!” Max exclaimed after hitting his head on the pipes under his kitchen sink for the third time that morning. He had been trying to fix a leaky pipe when his phone rang, causing him to jolt. To not risk a further concussion, he reached slowly into his back pocket. When he saw it was Zoey video calling, he immediately answered all while still laying under the sink.

“Hey Zo, what’s up?” Max said, putting the phone on speaker and placing it on his stomach away from the drip.

“Why is it so dark?” she asked, just as a droplet of water fell from the pipe and landed in Max’s mouth. Needless to say, he immediately retreated out from under the sink. The sound of his coughing and gagging made Zoey concerned. “Everything okay over there?”

“Yeah, something just leaked on my face.” Max said, picking his phone up off the floor.

“I didn’t realize you had company; I can call back later.” Zoey teased, scrunching her nose.

“Ha ha. What can I do for you Zoey?” Max replied sarcastically as he propped his phone up against a bowl on his kitchen counter-top.

“Are you doing anything later? I need a favor.”

“Why? What’s up?” Max said, standing up and stripping off his now wet shirt. He secretly loving how flustered Zoey got at seeing him undress. Even though they agreed to put a pause on anything happening between them since her dad died, it didn’t mean Max couldn’t have some fun and torture her every once in a while.

“Um…” she said slowly regaining her train of thought. “I’m supposed to babysit Peter tonight while Emily and David go to that bed and breakfast for their anniversary.”

“Where’s your mom?” He asked, taking the phone to his room to get a dry shirt.

“Visiting my aunt in Colorado. Now here’s where the favor comes in. I was supposed to take a half day, but turns out I am stuck at work for the next few hours at least. Joan’s replacement is a slave driver, he’s not letting us leave until we figure out the latest glitch with the chirp.”

“That sounds exactly like Joan but okay…” Max said with a chuckle.

“Could you go to my place and just stay with the baby until I get home? David said they have to leave by 3:30 or else they’ll miss their reservation.”

“I don’t know Zoey; I had a big day planned. First I was going to stare at the ceiling till 2:45. Then I was going to watch paint dry.” 

“I’ll throw in dinner from that Moroccan place you love.” Zoey said in a sing-song voice.

“Sold.” Max kidded. “Of course, I’d be happy to babysit. Your spare key still in the same place?”

“Yes, and I already have everything all set up in my living room. I’ll be home as soon as possible. You’re a life saver Max.”

“Oh, I know.” He smugly replied.

“Bye.” Zoey said with a big smile before hanging up.

* * *

When Max got to Zoey’s, he reached up and grabbed the spare key she kept on top of the door frame; an ironic place for it since Zoey had to stand on a chair just to put it up there. Max opened the door to find that Babies’R’Us had thrown up all over her apartment. There was a rocking bassinet in the middle of the living room and a bunch of spit towels, blankets, and bibs folded neatly on one end of the couch. Meanwhile, the other side had a mix of toys and stuffed animals.

“She does know this kid is only like a month old, right?” Max said to himself as he looked though everything. It was hard for him to believe that only two months ago that couch had been serving a much different purpose. As his mind flashed the events of that night, a knock at the door brought Max back to reality. He opened it to find David carrying an oversized diaper bag and the man of the hour in his carrier

“Hey, we can’t thank you enough for doing this Max.” David said as he placed the handle of the carrier into Max’s hands, dropping the bag inside on the floor.

“Yeah, we’re gonna have fun, right Pete.” Max said to the sleeping infant.

“Everything is in there – diapers, bottles. The breast milk has to be refrigerated. If he gets fussy, he likes the blue binky, the green one is an emergency backup.”

“Look at you man, you are killing it at this whole dad thing.” Max said giving weary looking David a reassuring smile.

“Thanks. Okay so Emily is waiting in the car. I better…” David said, gesturing as he made his way to the door. “Bye kid. See you tomorrow.” He said placing his hand softly on his son’s head so not to wake him up. Max and David both gave each other a nod goodbye as Max shut the door. He then slowly walked Peter into the living room, placing him next to the bottom of the couch.

“Okay Pete. I think you’re good for right now. I’m just gonna go throw the milk in the fridge.” Max said, making his way to the diaper bag. He put the containers of milk in the fridge before lining up all the bottles on Zoey’s counter-top. As he was looking through the diaper bag to see what else needed to be put away, a loud cry from the other room pulled his attention. Lightly jogging back to the baby, he could see his big eyes now wide open, his face all red from crying.

“Hey buddy. Come here.” Max said, reaching down and slowly pulling the baby into his arms. Max held Peter out in front of him, bouncing up and down in an effort to soothe him. Max felt a sense of pride wash over him as it started to work. Peter stopped crying and looked up at Max with the bluest eyes he had ever seen, aside from Zoey’s.

“There we go.” Max said smiling like an idiot.

But Max quickly learned he had been lulled into a false sense of security. On a dime, Peter started wailing again - worse than before. Switching his position, Max hoisted Peter against his shoulder, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“What’s the matter bud? Huh?” Max asked, when he suddenly smelled something just plain awful coming from Peter’s diaper. “Guess if I had a full diaper I’d be crying too. Okay, changing time.” Max said as he swiveled around trying to decide the best place to do it.

He figured Zoey’s bed had enough space where the baby wouldn’t roll. Max power walked to get the wipes and a fresh diaper from the bag before taking Peter to Zoey’s bedroom. Laying him down on the comforter, Max looked to see how to unfasten the little tyke from his onesie.

“Dude, you are going to love zippers when you get a little older. Except maybe in some instances.” Max said, finally undoing the snaps at the bottom. Once he pushed back the cotton fabric, it was time to tackle the diaper. Slowly, Max pulled the tabs on the sides, not sure what was waiting for him down there. He opened the diaper to see Peter had done both number one and number two. Just as Max reached for a wipe, his lightning fast reflexes reacted when Peter shot a stream of number one into the air.

“Ha, you missed. I remember that little trick from changing my nephew.” Max said, jokingly laughing at the baby. It was Peter who had the last laugh however, as he shot at Max again and got him right in the chest.

“You done?” Max said to the baby, who at that moment stopped his wailing.

The rest of Peter’s changing went smoothly, and then it was Max’s turn. He stripped off his shirt, for the second time that day, and started looking through Zoey’s closet for an oversized sweatshirt she had stolen from him throughout their friendship. Max found one pretty effortlessly, throwing it on before carrying the baby back into the living room. Just as he placed him in the rocking bassinet, Peter started to cry again.

“Don’t tell me you went again already?” Max said, lifting the baby over his head to check for any more unpleasant smells. Not finding anything, he heard Peter’s stomach grumble as he went to place him back down.

“Oh, I get it. After all that you need to refill the tank. Okay, be right back.” Max said placing the baby down and heading into the kitchen.

He poured some of the milk into the bottle, which had a very neurotic piece of tape with a line drawn on it. Max assumed that was for whoever was filling the bottle, so they knew how much to give the baby. While most people would just use the microwave to warm the milk, Max was a little old fashioned. Also, he could never tell if Zoey’s actually worked or if she was in the middle of ‘repairs’. He took out the one pot Zoey had in her cupboard and started boiling some water before placing the bottle in it. Max took his time, making sure the temperature was just right. Once he was sufficiently pleased, he took the bottle with him back into the living room. Max tried to squeeze himself between the toys and the towels on the couch, but eventually ended up carelessly shoving all the stuffed animals to the floor. He picked up the baby, throwing a feeding towel over his shoulder, before bringing the bottle to his little face. Peter latched onto it with lightning speed.

“Good huh? Don’t take this the wrong way Pete, but I never would have taken your mommy for the pumping type. Daddy probably insisted, oh yes he did.” Max said in a baby voice that came oh so naturally. Peter finished the bottle within minutes, and that meant it was burping time.

“If you spit up on anything other than the towel, we are not friends anymore.” Max said, only half joking.

After that Peter was actually calm and happy for longer than 30 seconds. Max places him down in the bassinet, leaning back on the couch letting out a slow breath. He looked at his watch expecting hours to have gone by already and was surprised to see the time read 4:17pm.

“How has it only been 47 minutes?” Max exclaimed. He looked down to see Peter happily smiling up at him. “So … what should we do now?”

Looking around at the mess he made on the floor, Max decided it was playtime.

“Why don’t we see what Aunt Zoey got for you. Wow. This is a lot of toys for just one night. Let’s see, we have some teddy bears?” Max said holding them up so Peter could see. The baby gave him nothing but a blank stare, so Max assumed that meant he wasn’t interested.

“Okay moving on; we have a teething ring … or five. Seriously Zoey?” Max said throwing them back on the couch. Three rattles, two stuffed ducks, and a plush book later – Peter didn’t seem to be fascinated by any of it. Max wanted to give him something before he started crying again but couldn’t decide on what. When he heard Peter begin to fuss, Max placed his hand gently on his stomach, rubbing it slowly as he reached for something else from the pile. Suddenly he felt tiny fingers playing with the bracelet on his wrist.

“You like that huh? Its one of those bracelets that’s supposed to help with your mood and anxiety. I’ve been unemployed recently and that’s been hard, so I got it figuring what the hell right? And … I’m telling this to a baby.” Max said pulling his hand away causing Peter to let out a scream.

“What? You want the bracelet? Okay, hold on.” Max said, grabbing some disinfecting wipes and wiping the bracelet down before handing it to the infant. Peter stared at it for a second, before instantly putting it in his mouth. Thank god the whole thing was brightly colored rubber balls glued together so there was no choking hazard. The bracelet kept Peter happy long enough for Max to get bored. Babysitting is a lot more active when the baby is crying, so he decided to pop in a movie. Since he usually supplied the DVD’s for movie night, Max found himself staring at Zoey’s small collection under the TV.

“What are we feeling like Pete? You in the mood for some action, maybe some comedy? Something educational maybe, for you? Although I don’t know what babies of your age group absorb more than just lights and colors.” Finally, one DVD set in particular caught Max’s eye. “Perfect.”

* * *

When Zoey came home a few hours later she found Max sitting on the couch, holding Peter in his arms. He was leaning him just enough so he could see her TV, which was playing Star Wars Episode V.

“Gotta start ‘em young.” Zoey said, kicking aside toys with her foot as she made her way towards the boys.

“Well we started with Episode IV.” He jested. “Look who finally made it home Pete.” Max said as he stretched out Peter’s little hand towards Zoey.

“You boys doing okay here?”

“We are doing just fine. In fact, I think it’s time for another bottle.” Max said, pausing the movie and placing Peter back down in the bassinet. As he went to work heating another bottle for the baby, Zoey just sat at her kitchen table and watched.

“How goes it with the chirp?” Max asked.

“Not great. Just when we figured out the software problem, the hardware started acting up. It was worth it though to see one almost blow up in Leif’s face. I’m sorry Max the last thing you probably want to talk about right now is Leif.”

“Only if its about him blowing up.” Max said with a strained laugh. “I just wish I could find something already, you know.”

“You could always go Mr. Mom professionally.” Zoey joked, trying to make her friend smile. When it didn’t work, she took out her phone to order dinner. “Why don’t you just use the microwave?” she asked, as she looked at the menu.

“I think the real questions is _can_ I use the microwave. As in, is it functional today?” Max joked, finally showing Zoey a real smile.

“Go back to your bottle. I’m starving, let’s order.”

“Yes, please.” Max agreed, pulling the bottle out of the pot, and testing it against his wrist.

After dinner, Zoey and Max sat in comfortable silence as Max rocked sleeping Peter in the bassinet with his foot.

“I should probably head out soon.” Max said, earning him a groan from Zoey.

“You don’t want to stay and watch another movie?”

“No, I don’t want to take away from your babysitting time. Peter deserves some one-on-one with his Aunt Zoey. And you look like you need a little baby pick me up too.” Max said getting up and heading towards the door. As if he knew Max was leaving without saying goodbye, Peter started to scream.

“He probably needs a change.” Max said, watching as Zoey cautiously picked Peter up, looking around where to put him. “I was using your bed. Just watch out, he sprays like a garden hose.”

“Got it, thank you again Max for your help today.”

“No problem.” Max said heading for the door. He was halfway into the hall when he remembered his shirt Peter made number one. As he walked back inside to get it, Zoey came out of her bedroom with a similar stain on her own shirt. Max couldn’t help but chuckle until he looked up and saw her eyes full of worry.

“Zo?”

“It’s fine, I uh- just never watched him alone … by myself … all night before. It’s gonna be fine, I can handle it.” She said before leaning down to get something from the diaper bag. “Forgot a diaper.”

“I can stay.” Max offered, Zoey immediately looking up at him.

“No, you’ve done more than enough…”

“I’m staying.” Max said, closing the door behind him.

“Bless you.” Zoey said as she let out a sigh of relief. Max walked up to her, putting his arm around her as they made their way back towards the bedroom.

“Is that my sweater?” she asked.

“Actually, it’s mine. You borrowed it three years ago.”

“I’ve been meaning to return that.” Zoey said innocently as Max just sarcastically nodded his head. “Its just so comfy.”

A few hours later, Peter was still wailing. Zoey and Max had tried everything, but even the bracelet didn’t work.

“I read online somewhere that babies like vibrations and movement.” Zoey said, getting more frazzled by the second.

“Okay, well do you have anything that vibrates?” Max asked innocently.

“For the sake of our friendship I’m going to not answer that.” Zoey said picking Peter up from the bassinette.

“He must hate me. He was good for you all afternoon, and then as soon as Aunt Zoey comes home its total chaos.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Max reassured her.

“Really? I bet he can sense it.”

“Sense what?”

“Sense how terrified I am right now that he will never stop crying, and that I think he hates me.” Zoey said bouncing Peter frantically, to no avail.

“Here, give him to me and go get one of the teething rings out of the freezer.” Max said. Zoey nodded, sliding the baby into his arms before heading to the kitchen.

“Okay Peter, come on bud. Hey, you need to stop crying you’re giving Aunt Zoey a complex.” Max said, again only half joking. He bounced Peter a little more, deciding to try one last thing to calm him down.

“ _Hey little buddy,_

_now don’t you cry,_

_Max is here to sing you,_

_A little lullaby._

_Please dear god let this work,_

_And dry your little eyes,_

_Before we totally lose it_

_And Aunt Zoey starts to cry_ …”

Zoey walked in with the teething ring, but it looked like Max’s song did the trick.

“Max, keep singing.” She encouraged.

“I would but I’m all tapped out of lyrics.”

“Sing something that already has them.”

Max stood there suddenly blanking on some of the most famous songs in the history of time. The only one that popped into his head didn’t seem totally appropriate, but they were desperate to keep him quiet.

_She had dumps like a truck truck truck_

_Thighs like what what what_

_Baby move your butt butt butt_

“Max!” Zoey whispered loudly, very surprised at his song choice. However, when she saw it working, she motioned with her hands for him to continue.

_Uh_

_I think to sing it again_

_She had dumps like a truck truck truck_

_Thighs like what what what_

_All night long_

_Let me see that thong_

A few inappropriate verses later, Peter was asleep. Max placed him down gently before dropping down on the couch next to Zoey, both of their eyes heavy with sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Emily and David were waiting impatiently outside Zoey’s door.

“Just knock.” Emily said.

“I don’t want to wake the baby. Why isn’t Zoey answering her texts.” David replied, just as Mo was coming home from the club.

“Hey there. Is there any reason you’re standing outside your sisters’ door at 7am?”

“Zoey babysat for us last night and David doesn’t want to knock on the door and wake the baby.” Emily replied with her signature deadpan.

“I don’t like waking up to loud banging noises in the morning either … well _sometimes_ I do. I have a spare, hold up.” Mo said, heading into his apartment and returning a minute later with the key.

As he opened the door, the three of them wandered in – seeing a scattered mess of toys on the floor. They walked into the living room to find Zoey and Max asleep on the couch, with Max against the back of the couch as the big spoon and Zoey right in front of him. Zoey was snuggling Max’s arm which was draped across her

Baby Peter, however, was wide awake in his bassinet.

David quietly picked him up and handed him to Emily, before going into the kitchen and throwing everything in the diaper bag. Mo took a picture with his phone for prosperity, running away after the camera shutter sound accidentally went off.

“Say goodbye to Aunt Zoey and Uncle Max.” David whispered to the baby as everyone quietly vacated the apartment, leaving Max and Zoey exactly where they were – sleeping like a baby in each other’s arms.


	2. BONUS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evil bonus chap idea I got from the comments

"WHERE'S THE BABY!!!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHERES THE BABY!?!?!?!"

"I mean that the baby was in there - AND NOW HE'S NOT!"

"Okay, we just need to approach this rationally .... I mean he's a baby. He couldn't have gotten far." 

"PETER!!!"

"Come out wherever you are buddy."

"Max, it's a month old baby I don't think he's learned the complexities of hide-and-seek yet."

"You look in here, I'm gonna go check ... everywhere else."

"David is going to kill me when he realizes I lost his baby. Oh God!! They could be on there way right now. I better check... Max!"

"Zoey, the baby isn't under your bed, or in your closet, or in the shower ..."

"They came and took the baby."

"They came and took the baby? When?"

"When we were sleeping apparently. My brother texted me a hundred times and the last one says _we took the baby_. Why is Mo sending me pictures ... oh my God."

"What? Is it dirty?" 

"No. Its nothing. Nothing you ever need to see." 

"I'm going back to sleep ... babysitting is exhausting."

"I'm going to kill Mo ... then my brother... in that order."


End file.
